Mastering The Art Of Resilience with Chris Hatfield

What is resilience, and where do people go wrong with their understanding of resilience? 

The word has become a bit of a buzzword these days, and you often hear the terms ‘you need to be resilient’ or ‘just be resilient’. 

The problem is that people don't really know what that actually means, and therefore, it is as helpful as telling someone to calm down—it often just makes things worse!

When I discuss resilience, I like first to clarify what it isn't and address some of the myths surrounding it because this helps people better understand it.

When people talk about resilience, four main myths are associated with it. 

Myth 1: People are born with resilience

Nobody comes out of the womb resilient. 

Instead, resilience is built over time through life and work experiences.

Often, we will just see the end result, which is why we can assume that other people are so naturally resilient, as they seem to be able to deal with change or knockbacks.

Myth 2: Resilience means always being strong

It’s more about being flexible and adapting to knockbacks. 

The perception that being resilient means “nothing should bother me” is unhealthy and will lead to things bottling up, not talking about the issues, and maybe not looking to learn from setbacks, either.

Myth 3: Resilience is the same as grit 

Grit is about never giving up, whereas resilience is knowing when to persevere and when to pivot.

For example, someone with grit might put all their energy into chasing one particular client, whereas someone with resilience will know when to pull back and go…

“Look, maybe this could come to fruition in six months, but I probably could generate three or four more opportunities in that time”.

Myth 4: Resilience is only about the individual

It's also about the collective team environment. 

If in a team of 40 consultants, 50% are really unhappy and think, “I’m really struggling,” and the other 50% have developed a good level of resilience but don't share how they've learned to deal with challenges, then half of the business will be creating a negative, uncertain environment, which will ultimately impact everybody.

It's essential to be conscious that resilience is about the collective, not just the individual.

Part of being resilient is having a growth mindset; what is one way someone could work on developing more of a growth mindset?

When looking at developing a more growth mindset, we have to consider the opposite, a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is the belief that how you are now is how you will always be. 

For example, I will never be as good as this person at Business Development. 

When you think like this, your brain will feed you information to support your argument. 

So, if I think about how I hate cold calling, my brain will feed me examples of when I failed at cold calling to support this negative perception.

The opposite of this is a growth mindset, and the best way to develop this is to change that negative, fixed statement into a question. 

While statements activate your primal brain and will come back as evidence, questions activate your rational brain and will come back as possibilities.

Rather than thinking, “I’ll never hit my targets,” ask useful questions such as, “What are two or three things in my control right now that will help me to hit my targets?”

Another example would be, “I'm not comfortable speaking with these types of clients, or I'll never be good at public speaking.” 

Instead, ask, “What are one or two things I can focus on that will make me feel more comfortable doing this?”

It is important to remember here that it isn't just about asking questions but asking constructive questions and thinking, "Would I ask someone else this? Would I appreciate someone else asking me this?" If not, let's also change that.

Where do you often see recruiters go wrong when dealing with setbacks?

First of all, this links back to what we spoke about early on: the belief that you should reach a point where you have no setbacks. 

The best recruiters will have setbacks, and they might have fewer over time, but the bigger differentiator between them and those early on in their careers is what they do after a setback.

There are three different types of setbacks - preventable, complex and intelligent.

Preventable

This is where you might look at it and go.

Do you know what? I had this bit of information beforehand, but due to maybe a lack of oversight or complacency, I didn't act on it. 

I didn't do the work I would typically do, and I didn't follow the process or what the company encouraged me to do. 

It's not always the individual's fault. 

It might be that the company has not trained properly, given people the right, clear information, or made assumptions.

Complex

A complex knockback occurs when you’ve done everything you could, but something unforeseen has happened, such as the client's business model changing or they put a hiring freeze on due to cuts within the business.

Whilst this is frustrating, these are the ones where you need to remember that you did everything you could have within your control and not dwell on what has happened.

Intelligent

As a result of doing this and going through this setback, I have learned something from it that I can apply to future situations similar to the one that has just happened and go about things differently.

Reflecting on and categorising these setbacks will help you move on and, more importantly, learn why they happened so you are well-equipped to deal with such situations again and prevent them from becoming setbacks.

What strategies can recruiters use to maintain motivation and enthusiasm after setbacks?

The critical thing to remember here is that motivation isn't something that you have on tap. 

Even the top performers seem to be always motivated; it comes in peaks.

However, it often comes from action rather than the popular belief that you must be motivated to take action. 

An example I use a lot is if you go to the gym. 

You won’t always have the motivation to go, but by taking action and getting it done, you will often feel motivated.

The same could be applied to cold calling. 

You won't be motivated to do a two-hour blitz on the phone, but the end result will make you feel motivated.

So, when you have setbacks, you should ask yourself.

“What's within my control? How can I spark motivation? What can I do?” and remind yourself that doing these things will generate motivation, versus “I haven't got motivation, so I can't do these things.”

You might remind yourself of the goals you have for the year. 

By doing so, you will create motivation and a bit of a jump start…it’s a bit like starting a car on a cold day.

Is there anything else you recommend our readers think about this week?

The last thing is never forgetting to make time for self-reflection. 

Take time to think, “I might not be where I want to be at, but I'm further along than where I was.” Or, " How am I more resilient compared to this time last month or last year?” 

It isn't about creating toxic positivity and ignoring everything you still want to work on.

But it's a balance to remind yourself of all the things you used to struggle with and are now resilient with—which will give you the confidence to become more comfortable with the things you are currently struggling with.

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